Thursday, April 23, 2009

barely hanging on......


these words do NOT describe my marriage. Though they easily could. In two different conversations yesterday people told me either they were barely hanging on or they intimately knew a couple that were barely hanging on. I mentioned that to my husband last night. We talked about how sometimes, in the busy-iness of life we can start just passing each other by.
Between practices, meetings, games and other commitments there can be days in a row we don't have an actual conversation. I have found myself saying more and more when asked about something to say that I hadn't yet talked with my husband about it. And that can be over a course of several days.
When these ebbs in our relationship happen I am very aware of it. I feel out of sorts, I am easily irritated and I get gloomy. If I wallow too long it seems almost too hard to make things right. To reconnect.
Thankfully I have made that effort every time. And that is exactly what it takes. Effort on both of our parts. Because life is hard. Marriage is hard. Parenting is hard. The windswept feelings of courtship and new love have faded. The desperate need to be together every moment has been replaced with grocery lists and laundry to fold.
It can be easy to let romance and intimacy fall further and further from the front burner. It takes intentional thought and action to maintain a lively marriage. And I don't always get it right. Heck, I don't even often get it right.
But I do think about it and I am aware of the effects on my children if their father and I are not living as husband and wife, but merely as a momma and daddy. A wise friend once told me to put God first, my husband second and my children third. That is hard to do and sometimes makes me feel momma guilt. But in the long run, I know that modeling a godly, loving relationship will serve my children much better than an empty marriage that focuses only on the needs of the children.
I do love Mr. Brick so very much. I am thankful for all that he does for our family and for the love he shows us each day. And I know that he loves me so very much as well. And as we travel on this road of parenting and daily life I pray that we intentionally demonstrate for each other the love that brought us together 15 years ago!
Happy Thursday~

6 comments:

Shannon said...

Such wise words.......so beautifully said. Love is a choice- one we must make each and every day. Thank you for sharing your heart!

Becky said...

so true....so wise words!
It takes lots of work and devotion and dedication! So worth doing it all!

Emily said...

Great post! Something we all probably need to think about a little more.

Quiltermama said...

Well put, girl, well put.

MiChal said...

Tone of voice is HUGE in our house.

Susan said...

Enjoyed your post!!! Makes you think......